if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
