And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize