Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
