I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize