whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
