So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My bed smells like the plague
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
