Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
