I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
