I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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