Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
