i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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