so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
