yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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