omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
