we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
