That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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