just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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