Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
