there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
