And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
