I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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