please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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