You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
