goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize