guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
