playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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