About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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