that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
