you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
