her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
