Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
