I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
