11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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