Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
