Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize