The maid of honor just puked.
Porn is love you can see.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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