great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
