if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize