Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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