Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
MIDGETS
????
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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