so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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