I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
