He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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