Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
