He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
