i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
