Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
