I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
