I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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