I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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