better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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