I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
