yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
