yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
