I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
