For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
