when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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