omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize