I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
