I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
