I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
